Plus one!

ambientwhimsy: I found it interesting how both father and son enjoy going "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" at particularly epic moments of tragedy ...
ambientwhimsy: I vote we start saying "NOOOOOO!" to EVERYTHING.
ambientwhimsy: "bad hair day! NOOOOOO!"
ambientwhimsy: "we're out of milk! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
ambientwhimsy: "hangnail! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
ambientwhimsy: it was nice that he loved his wife, though.
ambientwhimsy: enough to go NOOOOOOOOOOO for her.
ambientwhimsy: I hope somebody will love me enough to go NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO someday too.
frankie: LOL
frankie: man, he choked that bitch
frankie: he ain't love her
frankie: he's a jerk!
ambientwhimsy: lol
frankie: loves his son, but choked his wife
frankie: what an ass
ambientwhimsy: but ... but why'd he go NOOOOO then?
ambientwhimsy: the dark side, man! it's got him all twisted up in the game!
frankie: lol

Things to do after graduation:

1. Slog through far too many oh-so-commemorative photos.
2. Travel somewhere interesting. Or pretty, or fun. Right? Please?
3. Fight the dreaded Doctor Lethargy, followed by his sidekick, Apathy Boy.
4. Thank god and my lucky stars for a family which doesn't hate.
5. Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Robinson?

Thus dawns my last day of undergraduate university classes.

Shouldn't there be some kind of band playing today? Some kind of ticker-tape parade, at least? (Would it kill reality to let me have a general sprinkling of singing townspeople, poncey hunterpersons, and jaded beastlies? "BONJOUR! BONJOUR! BEAUCOUP DE FÉLICITATIONS POUR VOUS!") Insofar, local congratulators seem to divide their responses between, "Why, glory be to you!" and, "Seems like it's about time; how long were you going to take?" To which I've respectively replied, "Yes, now I get to start working for The Man!" and, "Listen Snarky McSnarkerson, my brain can beat your brain in a brain street fight any day of the week."

If my grey matter weren't so exhausted with final-preparations and celebration-scheduling and the rigorous schedule of street brain-warfare -- hey, you try teaching your noggin to wield twin sais -- I might have located some deeper thoughts on this very subject. This looks like the lot for now, however. So throw some ticker-tape, pony up your sais, and deal.

DON'T EAT THE DANGER COOKIES!

Mark my words, fellow baked-goods fans: cookies are dangerous. That's because you can't eat just one. It's almost as though you're compelled to keep on ingesting cookies, on and on, them and their 160 to 200 calories apiece. Then pretty soon you've inhaled an entire barrelful of cookies, and all you can hope is that they didn't come in the same barrel as the fun monkeys.

Therefore, chocolate cake is better. It's more piecelike.

Photosynthesis will be the death of me.

If wake up in the dark, it's near-impossible to get up, let alone start functioning. If I take a nap with all the lights on or wait until sunshine creeps over my eyelids, however, getting up becomes slightly easier. Light has that effect on me, you see. I'm like a botany sample. Or maybe Poison Ivy -- the Batman villain, not the plant that gives wayward scouts a rash.

This is probably why college students shouldn't take naps. It is also probably why I should never move to the far north -- say, to Alaska, or Canada, or amongst the sweatshop elves at the North Pole. Once upon a long-ago time, I dimly recall strolling down a Banff street, wide-awake, in full-on daylight at eleven o'clock at night. And that's no good, not for a night person like me. (If I'm up, I'm up, often to the point of insomnia. Mmm, contradictions.) If only we could make the earth's likewise sun-influenced plants into our creepy mutated servants or something, the daylight would be OURS ... ahem.

Might as well let the ardent fans see my photo-nonsense too:

I am Jack's pirate fixation.

(Yes, it's still funny. In a repetitive, filmic, déjà vu sort of way.)